I finally get both babies on a schedule where they nap at the same time…give Aria lunch, keep Rio awake in the bouncer, change Rio’s diaper, put Rio down to sleep, change Arias’s diaper, put Aria down to sleep, think I’m killing the mamahood game, remind Aria that yiayia (grandma) is doing bedtime tonight to prepare her, so that mama and baba can go have a date night, trigger Aria’s separation anxiety, begin Aria’s screaming saga, set a timer for five minutes, go back in to reassure her, the screaming continues, leave the room because you said you were going to, set another timer for five minutes, text your husband that you’re going to go crazy, realize you’re going to be losing your shower window, which is the reason why you made their schedules overlap in the first place, decide you probably have 15 minutes and that you’re just gonna shower, bring the monitor into the shower, two minutes into your shower Rio starts screaming, take the fastest shower of your life, maybe shave your legs because you’re going out to dinner, feel guilty for shaving your legs because it’s taking too long, get dressed and run downstairs, start giving Rio the bottle, listen to Aria continue screaming, take Rio and the bottle upstairs to try and soothe her with the baby, realize that was a terrible mistake, stand in her room as she lays down and stops crying and consider whether or not you should just stand in there until she goes to sleep, realize that is a bad idea, decide to leave, she continues screeching, realize that was a bad idea, bring Rio downstairs to feed him, speak to Aria from the monitor hoping that singing would get her to sleep, realize everything is a bad idea, she continues screeching, realize it’s been an hour since she started, feel all the guilt, give up on the singing, Rio starts screeching, Aria finally lies down and passes out, feel all the guilt, Rio burps and stops crying, listen to Aria whimper in her sleep, feel all the guilt, realize you haven’t eaten lunch, scroll through pictures on your phone of both of your children from earlier today, think about how much you love them and miss them, feel all the guilt, realize you’re crazy.
Welcome to REAL parenthood: where you can go through a rollercoaster of emotions in 60 minutes.
- Stubborn Babe
The newborn phase is tough. Sleepless nights; waking every three or so hours; operating in a haze of confusion and anger; hating my husband for not being able to bear and birth children (I mean come on…my body goes to shit and he complains about putting on a couple… Read more: Stubborn Babe - Lovevery Play Subscription Kits
I get commissions for purchases made through links in this post. Mother’s day is upon us! Do you know of any expectant mothers? This is the perfect gift idea or registry item! I’m a teacher. That means I have the natural born talent for overthinking things. I feel like… Read more: <strong>Lovevery Play Subscription Kits</strong> - Poop Chronicles: Gifting Shit
When becoming a parent, you should’ve known that your role was synonymous with poop. If you didn’t, let this be your shitty wake-up call! If you’ve read one of my previous posts in this category, you already know… I have some shitty kids. I don’t mean their temperament. I… Read more: <strong>Poop Chronicles: Gifting Shit </strong> - Picture Perfect
Ahh, the holiday season. Where you get beautiful photos with family and friends showing you how wonderful their children are shaping up to be. Spectacularly crafted cards that line your fridge, doorway, or maybe even a fancy card holder thingy ma bobber. I was always so envious of the… Read more: Picture Perfect - The Poop Chronicles II: Shit Eventually Happens
If you’ve read my previous post, you know that parenthood is all about dealing with shit. Literally. Shit. Though my daughter is notorious for her poop crib painting (see the previous post here), my son has quite a different reputation. For the first few weeks of his life, my… Read more: <strong>The Poop Chronicles II: Shit Eventually Happens </strong> - Sicky Bedtime
When your husband has to go into the office, and you have to bedtime by yourself, and they are both sick… Get dinner ready; Aria yelling because she’s hangry; Rio screams; hold Rio; don’t finish my dinner, Aria standing at the table when she’s done; put Rio down; Rio… Read more: Sicky Bedtime - Sickland, Many
Being a pandemic mom honestly has a few perks. I got to be home the entire time I was pregnant with Aria for over a year. And we got to spend her first year of life essentially in a bubble. For Rio, we got the perks of no one… Read more: <strong>Sickland, Many</strong> - From the Beginning…
It all started in January 2020. My husband and I were in Napa for New Year’s, and according to our timeline, we were planning on having a child that year (I know you’re out there thinking, “this lady is fucking crazy if she thinks she can plan out her… Read more: From the Beginning… - Regression without progression? A tale of a tired mama
Have you ever heard a parent talk about their child’s “sleep regression”? Just nonchalantly say something like, “oh yeah, we went through a terrible four-month sleep regression,” or “just wait until that sleep regression.” It always seemed so casual. Thrown in conversation like it’s a standard of parenting that… Read more: Regression without progression? A tale of a tired mama - Parental Torture
I get commissions for purchases made through links in this post. Did you ever wonder if parenthood is for you? Do you like action films? Then, see any torture scenes, delete the assailant, and add your friendly neighborhood toddler. My two-month-old son is upstairs sleeping after having woken up… Read more: Parental Torture - The Poop Chronicles I: Painting Shit
I feel like no one really told us the truth about parenting. None of the things I read and people I talked to told us what it’s all about: shit. I mean that, literally. Feces. Poop. Crap. Stool. Bowel movements. Whatever you want to call it. Parenthood revolves around… Read more: The Poop Chronicles I: Painting Shit - An Hour in the Life of a Real Mama (stream of consciousness)
I finally get both babies on a schedule where they nap at the same time…give Aria lunch, keep Rio awake in the bouncer, change Rio’s diaper, put Rio down to sleep, change Arias’s diaper, put Aria down to sleep, think I’m killing the mamahood game, remind Aria that yiayia… Read more: An Hour in the Life of a Real Mama (stream of consciousness) - Welcome!
Become a parent, they say. It’ll be fun, they say. As I type this, my one-month-old just got to sleep, and my 18-month-old just woke from her nap. I maybe have time to write a sentence before tending to their requests. In the case of my daughter, demands. My… Read more: Welcome!
Just a friend here to remind you you’re an incredible mother!!
<3 Thank you, my friend!