When your husband has to go into the office, and you have to bedtime by yourself, and they are both sick…
Get dinner ready; Aria yelling because she’s hangry; Rio screams; hold Rio; don’t finish my dinner, Aria standing at the table when she’s done; put Rio down; Rio screams; shower Aria; Rio screams; give up on giving him his bath; feel guilty for rushing her shower; feel guilty he’s screaming; feed him a bottle while in the bouncer; read her a book; Aria says “pee”; tell her to go pee; keep feeding Rio; Aria asks for help; take the bottle out of Rio’s mouth; Rio screams; feel guilty for letting him scream; run and pull down Aria’s pants; leave her in the bathroom alone; feel guilty for leaving her; Aria yells out “All done!”; pull the bottle out of Rio’s mouth; Rio screams; wipe Aria and wash her hands; Rio screams; pick up Rio; he finally calms down; get the snot vacuum from the bathroom; put Rio down; snot vacuum Aria while Rio screams; guilt, guilt, guilt, pick Rio up; “pee” Aria says; put Rio down on the play mat, and he immediately begins screaming; rush to Aria to put her on the potty; feel guilty for the screaming; feel guilty for rushing her; sing bedtime song at five times the speed; throw Aria in her crib; feel terrible for not snuggling her more; run to Rio; feel terrible for letting him cry; he won’t be put down again without screaming; can’t feed him a bottle because he’s so upset; keeps screaming; passes out and won’t drink his milk; give up and let him sleep; wake him up after fifteen minutes; give him the bottle; drinks a couple of ounces and then starts screaming because he’s so stuffed; snot vacuum Rio as he screams because he hates it; finally finishes the bottle; fill his humidifier; remember you never filled Aria’s; feel guilty for not filling her humidifier; put vapor rub on his chest; realize you didn’t put vapor rub on Aria’s chest; feel guilty for not putting it; snuggle Rio as he breathes sharply from all the crying; try and calm him down; put him in his crib; he passes out; put both babies on the monitor and watch them sleep; my poor sick babies
Welcome to REAL parenthood: where you can feel so much guilt for not turning on a humidifier
